{"id":1279,"date":"2025-07-20T15:04:30","date_gmt":"2025-07-20T15:04:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/flowprovider.com\/coaching\/?p=1279"},"modified":"2025-08-09T11:15:07","modified_gmt":"2025-08-09T11:15:07","slug":"1279","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flowprovider.com\/coaching\/index.php\/2025\/07\/20\/1279\/","title":{"rendered":"\u0f04 RESET &#8211; How to Train Your Brain to Think Differently"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"RESET - How to Train Your Brain to Think Differently\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/mXE96wNJjVg?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s a moment when something happens, and you have an automatic response. That response isn\u2019t entirely fact-checked before it happens. Sometimes, it keeps recurring. Sometimes, it gets in your way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ve had clients come to me with this, and depending on how deep the automatic response is, it can actually be changed quite easily. It can be anything, but in this podcast, I\u2019ll use a simple and clear example. You can also try this in different circumstances having the same reaction. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Imagine you get a message from your boss:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cCan we talk this afternoon in my office?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Without even thinking, your heart starts beating faster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You find yourself nervous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You feel that nervous energy in your body, like someone is grabbing your throat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s a full-body response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your brain immediately goes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cOh my god, I must have done something wrong.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But this reaction isn\u2019t really about the message.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s about what your brain has been trained to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And the outcome of this message doesn\u2019t have to be that reaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So let\u2019s break this down with neuroscience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And then I\u2019ll walk you through how to RESET the whole reaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading has-custom-color-3-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-169a39bd47ceb59df90ba9b623b3d154\"><strong>Why Your Brain Does This<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Your brain wires itself based on repetition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Every time you think the same thought. especially an emotionally charged one\u2014neurons fire together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is called <strong>Hebbian learning<\/strong>: <em>\u201cNeurons that fire together wire together.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019ve ever felt unsafe or judged before, your brain builds a shortcut:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cIf someone wants to talk, it\u2019s probably bad.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That shortcut becomes automatic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It can come from something that happened in the past, or even just from something you once said to yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But here\u2019s the good news:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your brain is <strong>plastic<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not like a plastic bottle, but like <strong>clay<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It reshapes itself based on <strong>experience, practice, and attention<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is called <strong>neuroplasticity<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can change your mental default and build a new one by thinking and practicing differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading has-custom-color-3-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-3b29d8cd7a71f84f305056e9b8033ba4\"><strong>Why Language Matters<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>If you say:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cI\u2019m anxious,\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>you\u2019re wiring that deeper into your brain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your identity and anxiety become fused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But if you say:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cI sometimes feel anxious,\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>you create space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019re no longer defined by the feeling, you\u2019re observing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This shift from <strong>identification to observation<\/strong> changes everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It activates a different part of your brain: the <strong>prefrontal cortex<\/strong>, the part responsible for awareness, evaluation, and decision-making.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><strong>Explanation:  <\/strong>When the prefrontal cortex becomes active, your brain shifts from a reactive state to a responsive one. Instead of following an old fear-based neural circuit, you\u2019re engaging the part of your brain that can <em>pause<\/em>, <em>reflect<\/em>, and <em>choose<\/em> a new response. This is why observation, not identification, is so powerful. It puts you back in charge.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading has-custom-color-3-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-8bbff16b916679c430f6b7e801193077\"><strong>The RESET Method: 5 Steps to Rewire a Thought Pattern<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>So what can you do when that message from your boss comes in?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You use <strong>RESET<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>R = Recognize<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Catch the physical feeling that starts the moment you receive the message.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Notice what\u2019s happening in your body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then recognize the thought that follows:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cI must have done something wrong.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ask yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Where is this coming from?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>E = Examine<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Question it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cIs this thought true?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Did your boss say:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cCan you come to my office because I want to fire you?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Or are you reacting to something that happened before?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Was it a similar message that led to something bad?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Or are you insecure about your performance?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When did this happen before?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What\u2019s the actual evidence?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>S = Shift<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Interrupt the default.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ask yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cWhat else could be true?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe your boss wants to <strong>praise your work<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe it\u2019s about <strong>your social security number<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Or literally anything else a boss might talk about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just checking the facts already shifts your thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>E = Engage<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, based on what you\u2019ve found, <strong>choose a different response<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You might say:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cI\u2019m curious what my boss wants to talk about.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019re not pretending you don\u2019t feel nervous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019re just holding on to curiosity too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>T = Train<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Now you <strong>practice<\/strong> a new reaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Imagine opening that message and choosing curiosity instead of fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do it again and again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>On average, it takes <strong>about 30 to 60 days<\/strong> of consistent practice to begin forming a new neural pattern, depending on the emotional intensity and repetition. The stronger the emotional tie to the new response, and the more often you rehearse it, the faster the rewiring happens.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Repetition is how the brain builds new wiring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>This doesn\u2019t just apply to bosses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It works for when a <strong>colleague says something and you get angry<\/strong> too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ask yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When did that happen before?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Is what they said really something that should make me angry?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Why am I feeling this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What else could be my response?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can use RESET on a lot of different reactions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not just what happens inside you, but how you interact with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading has-custom-color-3-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-f55b8ec8ecabb14272afd7f243cacd71\"><strong>Why RESET Works<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>It works because it aligns with <strong>how your nervous system encodes and updates memory<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Thoughts tied to strong emotion get <strong>priority access<\/strong> in your brain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That means your old reactions are easier to access, <em>until<\/em> you retrain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you bring in <strong>calm curiosity<\/strong> and <strong>repetition<\/strong>, your brain starts giving <strong>priority<\/strong> to those responses instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So over time, the old circuit,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cI\u2019m going to get fired\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>fades.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And the new one,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cLet\u2019s see what this is about\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>becomes your default.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You don\u2019t \u201chave anxiety.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019re not \u201cafraid to fail.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019re a person learning to respond differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And <strong>RESET<\/strong> helps you build that, step by step, from the inside out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This isn\u2019t just mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is <strong>brain training<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And it works.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>P.S. In training to see even hardship as an opportunity to learn something (more about this in another article), this is the first step. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There\u2019s a moment when something happens, and you have an automatic response. That response isn\u2019t entirely fact-checked before it happens. Sometimes, it keeps recurring. Sometimes, it gets in your way. I\u2019ve had clients come to me with this, and depending on how deep the automatic response is, it can actually be changed quite easily. It [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1283,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,45],"tags":[72,73,70,71],"class_list":["post-1279","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles","category-performance","tag-brain","tag-neuroscience","tag-reset","tag-train"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/flowprovider.com\/coaching\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/4187.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flowprovider.com\/coaching\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1279","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flowprovider.com\/coaching\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flowprovider.com\/coaching\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flowprovider.com\/coaching\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flowprovider.com\/coaching\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1279"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/flowprovider.com\/coaching\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1279\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1325,"href":"https:\/\/flowprovider.com\/coaching\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1279\/revisions\/1325"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flowprovider.com\/coaching\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1283"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flowprovider.com\/coaching\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1279"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flowprovider.com\/coaching\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1279"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flowprovider.com\/coaching\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1279"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}